Is Your Past Controlling or Counseling You?

Take a moment and think back to your high school days… What was the one thing you did your best to diminish, to deflect attention away from, or to even hide from others? 

For me (Dawn) that list was a long one. I spent my time trying to minimize the fact that I was from  the poor family living in the nice neighborhood, that my nose was too big and my hair was even bigger (oh, the wasted hours spent “ironing” my hair flat). But there was one area that just couldn't escape notice-I was flat-chested. And the men in my family took great delight in teasing, taunting, and pointing out on a daily basis that I did not measure up to their expectations.

In my industry this is known as an imprint; an intense emotional experience that leaves a lasting impression on your personality. Imprints can be positive, such as always looking forward to the holidays because of the great gifts you received as a kid, or negative such as the example from my past. And those imprints will form the foundation of what you believe you can be, do, and have as an adult.

But why even be concerned about what happened to you years, if not decades ago? Because if you have not taken the steps to review, release, and relearn those old, out-dated beliefs, they will continue to sabotage your success.

Do any of these sound familiar?

He was the peacekeeper in the family. When mom and dad would fight with each other or when his brothers or sisters would act up, it was up to him to find the ways to re-establish harmony. How does this show up for him now as an adult? When one of his clients decides that they should get his services for less, he complies-and loses a lot of money. When his teenagers blatantly break the house rules, he considers them just “bent” a little, so he does not punish them-and loses their respect. He's still keeping the peace, but at what cost to his personal tranquility?

She was the caretaker in the family. One parent was an addict and the other was an abuser. She spent her time alternating between acting as the stand-in parent or doing whatever it took to earn approval. How does this show up for her now as an adult? She draws in partners (love and business) that expect her to do it all and when she doesn't, they shame her making her feel as if she owes it to them. She is still caretaking for other at the expense of herself.

Want additional Free training on this? You have 2 to choose from:

Success-Scarcity into Surplus for your Life (click here)

Or

Success-Success into Surplus for your Business (click here)

If I could only get one point across to you in our time together today, it would be this: when you react this way, it is not your fault! BUT what you must take responsibility for is choosing to no longer to react, instead to respond. Reactions are based on past pain, responses are based on future impact.

How would your life be different if you could turn your struggles into strengths? How much energy do you spend thinking about people who you can't change-how could this energy carry you through your workday and support you throughout the evening if instead, it was invested in you? How much money do you lose because you've decided to give your power to other people and/or the economy by letting them decide what you're worth-what if, instead, you based your worth on the fabulous end results that you bring to others and then use part of that money to bless others through your giving?

There is a four step process that we use with our clients so that the stories from their past become lessons for wisdom-so those stories no longer control from, instead they counsel.

Those steps are; Review, Release, Relearn, and Rejoice. Review is where you ask what strength did you receive from your past struggle? Release is where you let go of continuing to react. Relearn is the new pattern you are putting into place. Rejoice if the action you take to reward yourself for all of this effort. Notice that I did not say you reward yourself for the end result. That will come with time. Instead, do something nice for yourself every time you are able to take a step forward into your Success.

So, is your past controlling or counseling you?

Dawn crop 500Dawn  (636) 699-7791

Want additional Free training on this? You have 2 to choose from:

Success-Scarcity into Surplus for your Life (click here)

Or

Success-Success into Surplus for your Business (click here)